Dreams and Dreaming

My daughter always came running to me when I came home and wrapped her arms around me and squeezed for a few moments. She knew how to hug me and I absolutely loved it. At night, when I was putting her to sleep, I would lie next to her. She always wanted me to read a book to her, followed by some snuggling, and then I would usually try to leave as I usually had something else to do. She would give me the cutest little kisses. They were little pecks, but I could tell she was really trying to express her love with her kiss. It was just precious. One of my tricks to exit each night was to get the stuffed horse, that I always jokingly called “Donkey”, to lie down next to her. It was a big horse and she would always smile and just say “Daaaaad, it’s a horse!” I would wrap the horse’s legs around her and the last leg I would clamp down on her tightly. She loved that. Then, she always wanted me to be nearby in the office while she went to sleep.

Sadly, my six-year-old daughter was killed in a tragic accident. I had this amazing dream that is definitely the most interesting one I can remember…

We were getting out of the van and my daughter had just closed the automatic door. I don’t know why but I thought she was opening it and I kind of sternly said, “Stop!” I realized that there was nothing wrong and we both looked at each other. I put my arms out and she understood I was sorry. In that instant, she forgave me for whatever thought I had. She walked over to me as I knelt down and she gave me the hug that she always did. Somehow I lost my balance and fell over backwards. We were hugging and she just fell on top of me. She began to give me her little kisses on my neck and said “Daddy, I love you” over and over between kisses. It was the best dream I ever had. When I woke up, I just cried and cried, not from sadness so much, but because I had been given a gift that was so precious to me. It reminded me of my daughter\’s wonderful gift of forgiveness and love. That hug will be with me forever.